Its Halloween this month…and we’re excited!
You’re time is running out to lock in your perfect costume for this auspicious evening. Today we are hoping to help as best we can to tell you what to stay clear of and save you any wasting any time on tired, old, or overdone ideas.
We are shining a spotlight on some of the poorest attempts at Halloween costume in this week’s blog.
The Boiler Suit
We’ve all seen it. Someone comes across a boiler suit and they see it as a blank canvas of limitless costume potential.
But at the end of the day however you accessorise it, you’re not a member of Slipknot, Michael Myers, a Ghostbuster, a bogus gasman, or even Chelle from Portal.
You’re just someone wearing workwear who needs to try harder.
“I VANT TO SUCK VOR VLUD”
The big bad himself, antagonising his way throughout European folklore, literature, Hollywood and your deepest fears and now your upcoming Halloween costume, think hard about your originality here because chances are, you should’ve buried it with a stake in the heart.
We’re not saying there aren’t some outstanding Dracula costumes but too often it’s a total cop out raiding a 99c shop for a set of plastic vampire fangs and a turning a trash bag to into a cape.
If you’re going to do it, make sure it doesn’t suck!
Switching Jackets To Be Another Person at the House Party
Now you all know what I am talking about here…You spend months finely crafting your costume and someone lazily turns up without one on.
BUT “NO” they protest!
“I am in costume!”
Ten minutes before showing up they decided to borrow your friend’s jacket or favourite jumper and go as…THEM!!!!
This is not acceptable.
Funny for around the 60 seconds it takes you to explain who you are and then try an impression of your bud but the novelty wears off fast.
Total cop out but on the plus side it means you don’t have to get the bus home dressed like Spongebob Squarepants.
So, listen. There’s been some incredible iterations (& some questionable ones…) of the caped crusader’s big bad nemesis & we can all respect that people want to pay homage to their on-screen ‘heroes’ but haven’t we ticked this box on the character as a collective.
From dirty green wigs to buckets upon buckets of face paint, there’s something very predictable about seeing a Joker rock up to your friends Halloween party or being dodged by the bar staff at your local club.
Everybody knows that this is just an excuse to for a gun show and parade around someone’s house half dressed in sandals.
Unless its an actual ‘toga’ party then turning up like Julies Cesar isn’t a good look.
“Et tu, Brute?”…. not again….
Where do we start with this?
Homemade to the core! Nobody is judging your crafting ability, but we all know this old joke and nobody finds it funny anymore. It might work for an old grumpy uncle having a ripped shirt with some cereal boxed taped and stapled to them just to see him get into the spirit of it but for the rest of us really need to aim a little higher!
Don’t think you got away with it either: Formal Invitation, Blessing in Disguise, and Ceiling Fan but there’s only so much room in this blog.
An popular one with half-ass costume brigade. Whether it’s a two piece to underwhelm or a three piece to overcompensate. A suit is not a costume.
A spandex mask does not make you Slenderman.
A pair of Ray Bans does not make you Men in Black.
A Trench coat does not make you Neo.
If you do decide to wear a suit for Halloween then you better wear a horse mask and be Bojack because you’ll want to hide your face.
Anything but with a Zombie twist
Some years you knock it out of the park and have a killer costume.
On the years you are feeling less inspired don’t tarnish you past glories by pulling them out the back of the wardrobe and zombifying them.
Re-treading an old costume, you loved by adding a little white paint, some fake scars, and hearty helping of fake blood might seem like a great idea but you just end up cheapening the memories of your previous triumphs.
Hopefully we’ve given you a good laugh at some of these poor costume ideas, or maybe made you cringe at your past Halloween misdeeds.
We want you all to have an absolutely baller Halloween and look and feel your best and you just won’t while wearing anything on this list. So, this year when you step out with that costume that you spent ages making you can walk out the door with confidence that you are going to be the life and GHOUL of the party.
[Editors note : this last pun is so bad Microsoft office wont even engage with it to let me remove it]